I understand/ Theresa Beals (feeling your pain) I've been through a simliar situation with my brother. Crack cocaine took his life away from us. The drug made his kidney's fail and he had to go on dialysis. After he went on dialysis. He continued to smoke crack and I would fuss at him and we would have shouting matches and it never worked. Until finally one night he was smoking crack and got so high. That my brother passed out and we couldn't bring him back. It needs to be an all out war on any kind of drug's. They all have the same affect hurting and taking lives and the dope man has no concious or remorse.
I feel your pain/ Kelly Benedict (caring friend) I am so sorry for your loss. My husband also died Feb 9,2005 in car accident after doing valium and drinking. I know how you feel and I pray that everyone wakes up and realises what their actions do. They leave us behind with all kinds of questions like why our love couldnt be enough to make them happy! My dear husband was such a wonderful person and could bring so much happiness to anyone he met.WHY. But he could not say no to any drug that was around him. He fought so long and hard. He did not win his fight either. He left behind beautiful 4 yr old twins that will never remember him and his good spirit. I will keep him alive in pictures and voice but it will never be like it should be. Please keep up your good and couageous work on letting everyone know the consequences of their addictions. If you can help just one person that is an awesome thing. My prayers will be with you and your children. Take care of yourself and let GOD be with you!!!!!
Scotty/ Anonymous (we are all connected...)Read >>
Scotty/ Anonymous (we are all connected...)
I am so sorry for your loss, and I wish you all, his family and friends, love and peace and comfort in knowing he is being taken care of right now..and he is happy.
I do not know Scotty or any of his family, but I am here, this litte dot of existence, to tell you I am sorry, and to show that there is love and light in this world...
Peace, Llight and Love to you all Close
Please Listen / Sher (Wife)
Today my heart is aching. Today my spirits are low ... today I want to scream ... I want to yell ... I want to run ... Today I HURT. I hurt because of addiction ... I hurt because Meth kills ... I hurt because meth killed Scotty ... I hurt because addiction took the life of my children's dad ... I hurt for them, him and MYSELF. I tried to tell him .. I tried to talk to him .. I tried to yell at him .. I tried everything ... I tried ... and retried ... Today I hurt because all the trying I did ... couldn't save him ... couldn't stop him .. couldn't keep him from himself.
Today I hurt ... I hurt because he is gone ... I hurt because I DON'T WANT HIM TO BE GONE. (inside I am like a child throwing a tantrum) Today I HURT.
Today is a sad day amoungst the sad days past and those to follow ... I don't want it to be this way ... I tried to stop it from happening, but I couldn't ... and I hurt because I couldn't.
Today, I want to run and not stop. I want to run from the pain, but I can't outrun it ...Today I hurt deeply.
Today, I want to find you and tell you that you are a human worthy of good things including love, but you're not there to find or tell. I want to scream. I am screaming.
Today I HURT. Today I hurt for my children, for their dad, for me and for YOU. Yes, FOR YOU.
I HURT FOR YOU (the one's that are trying and trying to save someone from themselves).
I HURT FOR YOU "THE ADDICT" I hurt because you do not WILL NOT listen to the crys of your loved ones. I hurt because they try and try and try, but yet they cannot save you from yourself.
I HURT because you are blindfolded and your ears are plugged, you can't feel or think about no one or nothing, but yourself and your addiction ... you are caught in a web ... and the spider is swathing, wrapping and entangling her prey ... she is slowly moving in for the kill.
I HURT because YOU won't LISTEN to the WARNINGS. I hurt because if you don't listen you are going to lose your freedom or die.
I hurt because I care. I hurt because I know what it is like to want so badly for your loved one to get clean and I hurt because I know first hand what it feels like for it not to happen ... I know what it is like to watch up close someone slowly killing themselves and I know what it is like to not be able to stand it anymore and leave, yet you watch from a distance I know first hand what it is like to be afraid to look away because you feel like the minute you do something bad is going to happen ... SOMETHING BAD IS ALREADY HAPPENING it can only get worse.
TODAY I HURT .. TODAY I ACHE ... TODAY I WANT THINGS TO BE DIFFERENT, but there are some things that cannot be different. Scott will never come back .. his chances of being clean are over ... You ... YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE. Please ... I beg you PLEASE LISTEN before its to late before somewhere somebody else feels like this on your behalf. TODAY love somebody and don't hurt them. Close
sad sad story/ Bree
I appreciated your reavling things that are so personal to you and what you went through with your true love. Its really heartrenching to know how much he suffered as well as all of you. There are many families suffering and many people who have fallen victim to drugs and they really dont understand the power it really has. I hope that you and your family remain strong and lean on one another. Grow close together in love. for God" word says love is the perfect bond. Real love Holds. Our love can be strong but God's way of loving us is stronger. (Colossians 3:14).. Close
I do not know Scotty or his family personally; however, he has played a crucial part in initiating my brother's recovery from methamphetamine use. "John" began his downward spiral with cocaine about 8 years ago, and graduated about 2 years ago to crystal meth - not only using, but according to the drug task agency, he was also manufacturing. He hasn't gone to trial yet. He continued his use even after being charged with conspiracy to manufacture meth - but since I gave him a copy of Scotty's story, he has remained clean and entered a recovery program. Please, When you read Scotty's story, don't think of him as a bad person for all of the things he did, Scotty is an angel sent from God - he has put my brother on the direct path to recovery and a chance at life by his example. This man did not die in vain. My brother read this story and said that he didn't want to chance not knowing his children, or his family losing faith and trust in him. He went directly to rehab. We are all put on God's earth for a reason; I'm inclined to believe that part of Scotty's life mission was to help save my brother. I am so thankful to Sherry and her children for consenting to the public to learn so much about their private lives. We are blessed to have people like them in our world!
To Cheyenne (and the rest of Scotty's family)/ Tammy Wilcox (none)Read >>
To Cheyenne (and the rest of Scotty's family)/ Tammy Wilcox (none)
Reading Cheyenne's message breaks my heart, because I know that my husband's two children feel the same way. Although he was a part of their life all along, until just a few months before the end, the damage done to them was immeasurable. Their lives will never be the same.
My husband took his own life in July of 2003, because he could not fight his way out of the grips of his addiction. On that day, I, like Cheyenne, just KNEW something was wrong. 9 days earlier, I had to have him removed from our home because he became violent. On the day of his death, I couldn't get him off my mind. A friend came out and spent the day with me while her children swam. I tried to keep my mind occupied, and off of Dean, but I couldn't. When they left, I took a shower and sat down in the chair in our living room, and began crying....not knowing why, and not being able to stop. While I was sitting there crying about Dean, a knock came at the door. It was a dear friend of ours. I hugged her and asked her how she was. Her reply was "better than you're about to be". My first thought and question to her was "is he in jail". She told me "no, he's dead".
It's strange, but I remember every single thing that she said to me. My world stopped turning that day. Slowly but surely, I'm coming around and making a new life for myself. But I will never stop loving Dean and I will never stop missing him.
My heart goes out to Scotty's family. I know the pain that they feel every single day of their lives.
Cheyenne, my husband left a suicide letter for me. I want you to know something, Sweetie. There isn't a doubt in my mind that your Dad thought about you before he died. I guarantee you that he did. I know that my husband thought about his children, and me. But you know what? They are in a better place now. They are with God, and finally at peace....no more addiction and no more pain. And we will be with them again some day, in a much happier time.
I love you Dad! / Cheyenne Simmons (Daughter)
It's really hard for me to swallow the fact that my Dad is dead. His death just smacked me in the face, and the way he died, it felt like a piece of my heart died with him. I remember when I was little and him and my Mom split up, I remember looking at myself in the bathroom mirrior, sobbing and begging God to help my Dad and save my family. I may have been little, but I was aware, and that sucked..being the oldest kid in the house and knowing the real reason Daddy wasn't living with us, drugs. Growing up was really hard without him, I didn't have a Daddy to protect me from the mean kids at school or from anything. You know, I just wanted him there, so on Father's Day I could give him a card and a big hug, so I could be the ultimate Daddy's Girl. That was stolen from not only me, but my siblings, by drugs. I suppose as I got older things got a little eaiser for me to handle, I didn't let things tear me down anymore, I just did what I had to do. Then my Dad started writing letters and calling me, our relationship started building, it was great. He even helped Me pack up for my move to Colorado. My last memory of him though is him throwing a fit because he was accused of being on speed by my godmother, and I was mad at him because I knew it too. So he spilt and that was the last time I heard from him. Throughout the summer of '04 I was trying to get a hold of him, leaving countless messages, with no return. Then about early October I just had a really ugly feeling and I was talking about my Dad and I said "I think he's dead." It was weird, but I still called his cell phone, leaving message after message. Then January 19th, 2005 I woke up feeling horrible so I stayed out of school, and then I woke up to my godmother on the phone, staring at me and crying. I knew what was coming, my heart didn't want to believe it though, so I cried for a second and walked off, trying not to cry more. I was alone in the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror, sobbing and trying to convince myself that it wasn't true. It's true, and it just sucks, my mind thumbing through the things and events that my Dad wasn't around for and the things and events that he won't be around for. I wonder if he was thinking about me before he died..I hope he knew and knows that I love him with all of my heart and soul and that I'm not mad at him. Close